The intermittent records of a slightly socially retarded, trigger happy, newbie registered nurse attempting to defy mediocrity.. and gravity, of course.
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
martyn pig.
When I was a little kid I used to think about dying. I’d lie in bed at night with my head beneath the covers trying to imagine the total absence of everything. No life, no darkness or light, nothing to see, nothing to feel, nothing to know, no time, no where or when, no nothing, forever. It was so unimaginable it was terrifying. I’d lie there for hours staring long and hard into the dark, looking for the emptiness, but all I’d ever see was black black black stretching deep into space for a million miles, and I knew it wasn’t enough. I knew that when I died there’d be no black and no million miles, there wouldn’t even be nothing, there’d be less than nothing, and the thought of that would fill my eyes with tears.
The tears have dried up over the years, but every now and then they come back, and when they do I realize that nothing much has changed – I’m still that little kid lying in bed at night looking for the emptiness.
I closed my eyes. I put my hands to my face and pressed my fingers to my eyelids and watched patterns emerge in the pure sightless black. Dazzling checkerboards of Day-Glo red and electric blue. Bright white bars of light, flashes, sparkles, fluorescent stars. Strange geometries of color – purple pyramids, earth-red squares, and flat lilac fields. There were even things that were colored with colors I’d never seen before. Nameless colors. It was too much. I took my hands from my eyes and stared blindly at the ceiling. After a minute of two the colors and patterns faded and my sight returned.
My eyes hurt.
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i am narcissistic
the about me section that can never truly fully describe a person.
it usually emcompasses the favourite movies, favourite music and all that jazz, but really when you think about it these aspect of me change every few years and can never really define me, as me.
but here are the basics anyway:
1. i'm left handed but drive with my right hand.
2. i like milk, but only safeway light milk.
3. i have a dog named phileo and he's white with a pink nose.
4. i am, after three crazy years, a registered nurse, division one.
5. i wish my life was a musical and i often burst into song and love it when people around me join in too
6. i'm sometimes just a mess but above it all, my jesus is always there to come to the rescue. he's pretty swell :)
Wednesday, 28 October 2009
martyn pig.
When I was a little kid I used to think about dying. I’d lie in bed at night with my head beneath the covers trying to imagine the total absence of everything. No life, no darkness or light, nothing to see, nothing to feel, nothing to know, no time, no where or when, no nothing, forever. It was so unimaginable it was terrifying. I’d lie there for hours staring long and hard into the dark, looking for the emptiness, but all I’d ever see was black black black stretching deep into space for a million miles, and I knew it wasn’t enough. I knew that when I died there’d be no black and no million miles, there wouldn’t even be nothing, there’d be less than nothing, and the thought of that would fill my eyes with tears.
The tears have dried up over the years, but every now and then they come back, and when they do I realize that nothing much has changed – I’m still that little kid lying in bed at night looking for the emptiness.
I closed my eyes. I put my hands to my face and pressed my fingers to my eyelids and watched patterns emerge in the pure sightless black. Dazzling checkerboards of Day-Glo red and electric blue. Bright white bars of light, flashes, sparkles, fluorescent stars. Strange geometries of color – purple pyramids, earth-red squares, and flat lilac fields. There were even things that were colored with colors I’d never seen before. Nameless colors. It was too much. I took my hands from my eyes and stared blindly at the ceiling. After a minute of two the colors and patterns faded and my sight returned.
My eyes hurt.
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