Thursday, 22 December 2011
12.27 22.12.11
I'm in one of those moods. Yes, those end-of-the-year-reflection-post moods that I even typed in 'blogger.com' instead of just using my default tumblr. I should however add in a disclaimer, because I still haven't really finished the last post. So instead, I'll just start writing.. not so much about the year, but just about the few thoughts and pie-graph segments of my conciousness as of right now at 12.27am on the 22nd of December 2011.
Work.
What can I say? I love work. It consumes my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I wrote a facebook status about it the other week and it was all true.
Yesterday, I came to work and as we started handover at 7 in the morning, a 40 something year old man, painted with tattoos, Hep B+, alcohol overdose who was query bleeding from somewhere in his digestive tract started getting agitated. He accused us of judging him as we handed over his presenting condition and started shouting as he pulled off his ECG dots and went to pull out his IV cannula. I bend down on my knees, grabbed his hand, spoke firmly and looked straight into his eyes. I got him to shut up long enough to listen, I explained why he was admitted, what we were doing for him and that no one was judging him. I earned his trust.
Two years ago, I don't think I could have done that. I didn't have the people skills, the confidence or communication skills to be able to do that. I would have just run away. That's one of the reasons I chose nursing, when I was that timid, socially awkward teenager with the phobia of answering the phone at the end of year twelve. It was the idea of the person I wanted to become. Confident. Caring. Intelligent. Capable.
I feel my most confident at work, I feel like I'm doing something. I'm not always good at it and not always the smartest.. and very often I am forgetful but I'd like to think that I'm making a difference. I'd like to think I'm good at my job. This year, I finished my grad year and started full time on RAMU which was my first rotation. I'm so happy with my decision, I'm having a great time. I've learnt a lot, I've developed my skills, I've made great friends and I feel comfortable there. I was in charge the other week, which for me, was a great leap of confidence from my manager, that she thinks I was capable enough to be entrusted with that role. I loved that shift. I can't wait for more.
The ANF EBA is a whole other blog post. Don't get me started.
Nanda.
The boyfriend. This year has been good to us. It's our second year together, which most of my friends who are in long term relationships say is the year of the fights. We can definitely follow the norm on that one. This year, we've had the biggest, most dramatic (on my part, obviously, think screaming in the rain in the middle of swanston street), hurtful, testing fights this year but I still say that this year has been good to us. Despite the events of this year, it's all just apart of the journey we have together. We've learnt from our mistakes, sometimes it takes us a few of the same mistakes to learn the lesson but I think that's natural. We've put our relationship first before all the hurts and mistrust. We've managed to overcome it. When I think back to each fight, I remember each time we fixed it. My tears, his arms around me. His smile and his quirky sense of humour that reminds me of why it's worth it. Why he's the one for me. It's the lesson of compromise, of trust, of just being reassured that he does love me and only me. I think we have a good thing. So here's to our third year together.
Oh and 'long distance'? Facetime has saved my life. The 4 hour difference and doing full time shift work? Not so much. Never fear, we have 7 more days. :)
Friendship.
I don't have much to say about this, because apparently I'm not very good at it. I don't know if it's because I'm working, my lack of time management or that I'm too cranky after work.. but this year in friendships has been a gentle decline towards the asymptote of just one. (Yes, that one is you Su Wen Ng).
I've made heaps of friends at work though, I love it. We all like to have a laugh and there's always someone whose willing to give me a hug. If I walk into work after a fight with Nanda, someone will automatically pick up on my flat affect and ask me what's up. I've gotten useful advice about marriage and finance from the older married nurses, I've sung Glee mashups while preparing medications in the treatment room. I love my little RAMU family.
To be continued.. because my laptop is out of battery and my charger is.. over there. 1
1 Comments:
Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year to you Sarah =)
By 
Unknown, at
28 December 2011 at 7:39 pm