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Thursday 22 December 2011
12.27 22.12.11

I'm in one of those moods. Yes, those end-of-the-year-reflection-post moods that I even typed in 'blogger.com' instead of just using my default tumblr. I should however add in a disclaimer, because I still haven't really finished the last post. So instead, I'll just start writing.. not so much about the year, but just about the few thoughts and pie-graph segments of my conciousness as of right now at 12.27am on the 22nd of December 2011.

Work.
What can I say? I love work. It consumes my life, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I wrote a facebook status about it the other week and it was all true.

Yesterday, I came to work and as we started handover at 7 in the morning, a 40 something year old man, painted with tattoos, Hep B+, alcohol overdose who was query bleeding from somewhere in his digestive tract started getting agitated. He accused us of judging him as we handed over his presenting condition and started shouting as he pulled off his ECG dots and went to pull out his IV cannula. I bend down on my knees, grabbed his hand, spoke firmly and looked straight into his eyes. I got him to shut up long enough to listen, I explained why he was admitted, what we were doing for him and that no one was judging him. I earned his trust.

Two years ago, I don't think I could have done that. I didn't have the people skills, the confidence or communication skills to be able to do that. I would have just run away. That's one of the reasons I chose nursing, when I was that timid, socially awkward teenager with the phobia of answering the phone at the end of year twelve. It was the idea of the person I wanted to become. Confident. Caring. Intelligent. Capable.

I feel my most confident at work, I feel like I'm doing something. I'm not always good at it and not always the smartest.. and very often I am forgetful but I'd like to think that I'm making a difference. I'd like to think I'm good at my job. This year, I finished my grad year and started full time on RAMU which was my first rotation. I'm so happy with my decision, I'm having a great time. I've learnt a lot, I've developed my skills, I've made great friends and I feel comfortable there. I was in charge the other week, which for me, was a great leap of confidence from my manager, that she thinks I was capable enough to be entrusted with that role. I loved that shift. I can't wait for more.

The ANF EBA is a whole other blog post. Don't get me started.

Nanda.
The boyfriend. This year has been good to us. It's our second year together, which most of my friends who are in long term relationships say is the year of the fights. We can definitely follow the norm on that one. This year, we've had the biggest, most dramatic (on my part, obviously, think screaming in the rain in the middle of swanston street), hurtful, testing fights this year but I still say that this year has been good to us. Despite the events of this year, it's all just apart of the journey we have together. We've learnt from our mistakes, sometimes it takes us a few of the same mistakes to learn the lesson but I think that's natural. We've put our relationship first before all the hurts and mistrust. We've managed to overcome it. When I think back to each fight, I remember each time we fixed it. My tears, his arms around me. His smile and his quirky sense of humour that reminds me of why it's worth it. Why he's the one for me. It's the lesson of compromise, of trust, of just being reassured that he does love me and only me. I think we have a good thing. So here's to our third year together.

Oh and 'long distance'? Facetime has saved my life. The 4 hour difference and doing full time shift work? Not so much. Never fear, we have 7 more days. :)

Friendship.
I don't have much to say about this, because apparently I'm not very good at it. I don't know if it's because I'm working, my lack of time management or that I'm too cranky after work.. but this year in friendships has been a gentle decline towards the asymptote of just one. (Yes, that one is you Su Wen Ng).

I've made heaps of friends at work though, I love it. We all like to have a laugh and there's always someone whose willing to give me a hug. If I walk into work after a fight with Nanda, someone will automatically pick up on my flat affect and ask me what's up. I've gotten useful advice about marriage and finance from the older married nurses, I've sung Glee mashups while preparing medications in the treatment room. I love my little RAMU family.

To be continued.. because my laptop is out of battery and my charger is.. over there.
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Friday 29 July 2011
telefriend :)

It's been a good 7 months since I blogged here. I've abandoned it for the microblog sensation that is tumblr. Some things have changed, but most of it hasn't. I've been to Europe for a month and back. I'm no longer a graduate nurse. I've lost and bought a new jacket. Besides that, It's pretty much the same me.

As I posted on my tumblr/facebook, two years ago today marks the start of the nandadermawan chapter of my life :) I'll be honest and not too overly sentimental and therefore not gloss over the fact that I was already very involved with another chapter which took another three months later to close but hey! everyone has to go through many other life experiences to get to the main event. It's like in How I met you mother, Ted tells the story of all his other romances because each one leads him into another situation or changes his mindset about something that in the end, prepares him to meet his future wife (well, we all hope we finally get to meet her at the end of the series!)

Anyway, it started off with a facebook status. We had talked before in the casual setting. I thought he was a pretty cool kid. I think I wrote on his affirmation wall at camp too :P It wasn't love at first sight. It wasn't for him either. It wasn't until he posted a status about Ninjiom lozenges and on my request -- kept one in his pocket until friday to give me one.

I still remember the moment. I think he came up to me or I went up to him.. and he stuck his hand out, opened his fingers to reveal a small silver wrapper. He told me that he had kept it in his pocket to give me and that made me happy inside :3 That same weekend I drove him and Francis and while Francis was pooing, Nanda just started playing Blackbird on his guitar sitting on the other side of the room. A song that I personally love.

I've been reading through my blog to see my thoughts on that period of my life -- such a different time! I can completely remember my state of mind when writing each post. That's why I felt like I needed to write a long post like this again.. just so I can look back in another two years at this post and remember my state of happiness right now.. whatever happens! Here's the post from that first weekend when Nanda started to enter my life:

Monday, 3 August 2009
weekend.

suwii and bagel dates with beans on brunswick
bus rides with cousins and accountablity and church talk
immunisations and two aching arms
zoe lee dinners of gnocchi, brownies and fairybread
keys missions x 2 dejavu
camerajo debut for an event = pros
hersheys cookies and cream
supper x 2 dumplings then pancakes.
you idiot you monkey
stalkercheck.com
shopping for interviews
finding my brother's new wife (5th year med student ++ christian LOL)
finding janey's brother's new wife (2nd year commence student ++ has brownie cheesecake stash)
jesus rocks my world with colin buchanan
snuggies with whole air vents
same person as janey
secret revelations
zane: car expert and appreciation
sunday school worship and dancing
this is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart
bubblewrap pwnz jit
breaking into goh residence
nanda serenade while pranchis pooed
post it up jem's car and more janeytime
pok ribs and brownie cheesecake
the devil wears prada and simon baker
a whole lot of fb catch up (aka the last 24 hours LOL)

but i think the highlight was..

NIN JIOM CHINESE HERBAL COUGH SYRUP IN LOZENGE FORM.
Thank you Nanda :)



---

Nanda didn't even read my blog then.. he didn't even like me then yet! He was just being genuinely nice by bringing me the lonzenge! That's just him though, being genuinely nice. He wasn't trying to win me over or anything, he was just being himself. I like that about him. He's very honest.

From then on, I think I had a little crush on him.. though I thought nothing of it because of the age difference and the fact I had someone else on my mind.. I did do the whole facebook stalk.. and I loved his photos! So artistic :) He was certainly interesting.. but it wasn't until one night at Randall's house when Nanda was starting a msn conversation with Randall -- about what else but GAMING -- when I pretended to be Randall and say "I hear this Sarah chick is pretty cool.. you should add her on msn" and silly things like that. When I got home, we became msn friends.

He told me about his childhood, I told him about my life, we talked nonsense and we always seemed to say the same things at the same time -- we were telepathic! We stayed up until 6am one night just talking and talking. I never felt so comfortable talking to one person. It just.. flowed.

I told him about my spontaneous 4 day trip to Malaysia with my mum and the night before I left, he hugged me. Nanda had just gotten my number then too and we texted constantly the whole time I was overseas.

Saturday, 15 August 2009
hot chocolate.

anyway, i think i'm just having a little angst session because i'm flying off tomorrow and because the last time i took off, my world changed. i wonder what's instore for me this time.. hopefully, it's just gai fan and some milo bing! and hugs before i leave ♥ teehee.

---

He later told me that he realised he liked me right after we hugged.

(:

OKAY HE'S TELLING ME TO GO TO SLEEP NOW SO I WILL. TO BE CONTINUED .. I HOPE.
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Tuesday 14 December 2010

I was going to update something epic.

But then I couldn't be bothered.

Haha. Story of my life.

(:
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Monday 18 October 2010
Weeeekenddd

So I've finished my two weeks of night duty and I've had my four days off already. Which means work tomorrow. Facepalm.

Nights were pretty good. I didn't find staying up that difficult. Anndd the workload is so much lesss. But the patients do go a little crazy at night. And have falls. And I did like 4 riskmans. And get really sick. It kinds sucks cause there's less nurses around (only 3 at night), so there's not that many people to help you. Also you have 8 patients, which is double the normal patient ratio.

Anyway, weeekend was good.

Thursday Finished that morning, went for breakfast with the family at Harry's (ticked another from Cheap eats guide), rushed to make it to Catch's bake sale (nom nom) then to RMIT. Then I slept. Then Culter & Co. for dinner with the family. Amazzzzingg food.




Friday Slept til like 3pm. Fail. Dermawan came over and we watched Greys. Then impact. Saw the Pheeeebs after her return from the motherland, who preached. We ate seaweed. Then stayed up with my brother and watched Chuck.

Saturday Drove up and down Williams St looking for asian fobs and thus Janey. NEW YORK TOMATO. Which is where I've wanted to go for like a year (Another Cheap Eats Guide tick). Artsy Fartsy. Big W for Pheebs' present and my outfit for Ken's. Found $10. Got free parking. Watched The Truman Show. Got kicked out for wearing thongs. Bought Big W shoes. Then got into Ken's drinks with nerds that play with fire and jaffals. Old Town Kopitiam for supper. Food > drinks anytime. Pls.



Sunday
Woke up lates for church and got ready in two potatoes. Combined church service with chinese. Sabrina confirmed that she saw me singing chinese. I am a winner. Epic altar call. Get prayed for and bawl my eyes out, get the amazing Jesus presence tingles. Prawn mee. Fail parking at shoppo, so John2 drops us. Koko black. Watch more Chuck with my brother and Derms. Junior masterchef. Sleeps. Have epic talk about Jesus and stuff in the car with the love of my life (: Theenn facebook. And blogging. Yeah.

Fun. Food. Family. Friends (including Nanda, ofc. Cause friend ma). And Jesus.

Everything I love. And now back to work.
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Sunday 3 October 2010
tumblring

i copied catchtumblr. to give bloggy some love.


TEN ARE YOU’S

1. Are you single - if you like it, you should have put a ring on it.
2. Are you happy - yes, and no. yes, because of nandajaneysuwiijohnjohn (: no, because of everyone else and epidemics.
3. Are you bored - i love not having anything to do. the best part of working and not studying :D
4. Are you naked - ;) YA WINKYFACE CATCH.
5. Are you a blonde - i'm asian, not azn.
6. Are you moody – yesss..
7. Are you a lover/hater - lover %%
8. Are you hot/cold - i'm hot and i'm cold, i'm yes, and i'm no. actually no, cause that's suwii. aka katy perry.
9. Are you Irish - no
10. Are you Asian- ASIAN FUSION. like tina and mike chang in glee.

TEN FACTS

1. Name - sarah
2. Nicknames – rah.
3. Any birth marks- MOLEY.
4. Hair color – black.
5. Natural hair color - black.
6. Eye color - brown
7. Height - 162-3?
8. Mood - tired, so tired has EYEPIMPLE D:
9. Favorite color – navy blue
10. One Place You Want to Visit - disneyland.

TEN THIS OR THAT

1. Love or lust – love.
3. Cats or dogs – phileo cause.. SO FLUFFFFYY.
4. A few best friends or many regular friends - a few <3
5. Television or internet - internet and greys anatomy.
6. Chinese Or Indian - indian %%
7. Wild night out or romantic night in – night in with the polar bear (:
8. Money or Happiness - happiness.
9. Night or day - NOT NIGHT DUTY D:
10. Msn or phone - phone (:

TEN HAVE YOU EVER

1. Been caught sneaking out – i too ninja pls.
2. Been skinny dipping - i fell off the rope and bikini top flew up in vanuatu D: does that count D: D: D:
3. Bungee jumped – no, i want to. but i think i'd be too scared when it came to it. too much experience of seeing people doing reckless things ending up in comas or paralysed.
5. Lied to someone you liked – ya, when i said he had small nostrils
9. Cried because you lost a pet – YES. the most i've ever cried was when my late doggie passed away ):
10. Wanted to disappear – ya, invisibility cloak ftwftw.

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER

1. Smile or eyes - SMILE <3 (8:
2. Light or dark hair – dark hair.
3. Hugs or kisses - huggles <3
4. Shorter or taller – taller
5. Intelligence or attraction – you are so dumb, so dumb, so dumb.
6. Romantic or spontaneous - spontaneous, more than cliche romantics
7. Funny or serious - funnny, but serious when needs be.
8. Older or Younger - ;) WINKYFACEE.
9. Outgoing or quiet - outgoing
10. Sweet or Bad Ass – sweet.

TEN HAVE YOU’S

1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd - i did have a stint in the acting career in my pre-teens :P
2. Ever done drugs – everyday, at work.
3. Ever consumed alcohol? casual etoh consumption.
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team – BALWYN HIGH SKYRAIDERS. um no. pls.
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? nope. hummer. lol.
10. Ever been in a rap video? no, BUT I THINK WE SHOULD.

TEN LASTS

1. Last phone call you made – nanda dermawan
2. Last person you hung out with - family for cousin's birthday dinner (: before that, janeyjohnjohnsuwiinanda at redrooster <3 my fav peeps.
4. Last time you worked – friday am! best non-working weekend in ages! also, start nightduty tomorrow night D:
5. Last person you tackled – ;) catch put winkyface D:
6. Last person you IM’d - nanda dermawan (8:
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with - janeylee and zefron prettiness.
9. Last thing you missed – this whole year because of work.
10. Last thing you ate - muscles and chrizo dish at the pav for cousin's din (:

LAST PERSON TO

1. Sleep beside you? - janeyleeee
2. See you cry? – nanda dermawan <3 love you, professional tear wiper (:
5. Call you? - father wong.
7. Made you laugh? - family dinner times (:

WOULD YOU RATHER

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? - nose. cause it's indian.
2. Be serious or be funny? - funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? - SKIM D: my mother banned me from full milk at home, so now i'm accustomed to it.
4. Spend time with your parents or enemies? - parentalz. probably.

ARE YOU

1. Simple or complicated? - i'm avril lavinge
2. Retarded? - YA RETARD (Y)

DO YOU PREFER

1. Flowers or candy? - flowahzzz.
2. Gray or black? - greys. anatomyy. BAM.
3. Color or Black and white photos? - colour, but i often use black and white.
4. Sunrise or sunset? - sunset :)
6. Staying up late or waking up early? - up late. but i can do both, thanks to my job. though not sure HOW LATE. shall test my late wakingness on nd.

DO YOU PREFER

1. Sun or moon? - i wanna be the moon, cause it reflects the sun. don't wanna be the sun, shines on everyone.
2. Winter or Summer? - autumn (Y) PWNZ SPRING PLS.
3. Left or right? - lefty.
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? - two best fwenz.
5. Sun or rain? - sun.
6. Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? - chocolate.
7. Vodka or Jack Daniels? - vodka.

UNIQUE

1. Nervous Habits? - pen clicking?
2. Are you double jointed? - ma fingersz.
3. Can you twist your tongue around and roll it? - D:
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? - also yah.
5. Can You cross your eyes? - not really D: >_<
6. Do you make your bed daily? - depends. i do make BEDS daily. not always mine.

QUESTIONS

1. Which shoe goes on first? - right?
2. Ever thrown something at someone? - i threw a pokemon at nanda today.
3. On average, how much money do you carry with you? - i normally take out $140 from atm, then it decreases from there.
4. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - twirlsies.
5. Have you ever eaten Spam? - ya spam.
6. What’s your favorite beverage? - milkz.
7. Do you cook? - can, not well :P but has dermawan who can (:


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